


you are my breath

by serenascampbell



Category: The Durrells (TV)
Genre: F/M, lowkey angst, post 3x8, soft, third person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-12 23:15:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14737635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenascampbell/pseuds/serenascampbell
Summary: spiros goes to tell louisa that things are over with his wife.





	you are my breath

Louisa dragged herself through life just like the trooper that she was. She’d modestly concede that a gin and tonic often made the day go a little faster, but she wouldn’t let her life grind to a halt. Not even for _him._

Of course, he didn’t keep away. Still there on a daily basis, running the children around at all hours and doing his best to make Louisa’s life a little easier. Part of her believed he was there because he wanted to be, because he was letting himself be selfish and want her too, but he wasn’t. He was too good, too honour bound, to set himself above those that he loved.

His presence seemed to dwindle, not enough to mention but enough to keep her awake at night wondering if he was distancing himself. He hadn’t said a word to her in three days when he marched into the kitchen in his delightfully brash Corfiot style with a tightness in his jaw she didn’t recognise.

“Spiro!” Louisa greeted in an abnormally lovely sort of way that would’ve made the children thoroughly suspicious had they heard her. “How are you? Can I get you some tea?”

“Mrs. Durrells, I am getting a divorce,” he announced with a sharp nod of his head.

In her mind, she conjured words of sympathy, but they got stuck in her throat. Of course, she didn’t know the ins and outs of their marriage but from what she understood, Mrs Halikiopoulos had quite eagerly taken Spiros back after their brief separation.

It took her rather a long moment to gather herself and return her attention to her guest. His expression was uncertain, perhaps a little conflicted, but by no means distraught.

“Spiro, is there anything I can do?” She offered softly, cut off by a couple of Brits whom she quite frankly couldn’t remember the names of bustling into the kitchen in search of scones. “Why don’t we head outside?”

Wordlessly, Spiros turned and headed towards the front door. Louisa followed close behind him. The two of them made a beeline for the car and took the two front seats. Sitting here made things harder, this was where Spiros had held her as she wept…where they had spent so many hours driving from place to place.

“Christina says that I don’t love her anymore, she says that I either have to prove my affection for her, or I have to leave her,” he explained, eyes locked on the horizon as he spoke. “I wish I could argue you with her, wish I could tell her that my heart has been in her safekeeping since the day I promised to spend my life with her, but I’d be lying.”

It was utterly despicable the way that Louisa’s heart fluttered hopefully at hearing those words. Truly, she couldn’t stand herself for feeling anything but awful for him and yet she couldn’t help it.

“You speak of her so fondly,” Louisa tried to reason half-heartedly, taking her lip between her teeth nervously.

“I can’t pretend to love somebody when genuine happiness is within my reach…I know it’s selfish but I can’t,” Spiros answered timidly, a timidity to him that seemed to tear down any defences he might have had. “Louisa, this space between us is eating me alive.”

The tears that blurred her vision were left to run their course. Her eyes refused to meet his just then, instead she pressed them closed and reached to take his hand in hers. Amongst her thoughts are all the daft metaphors she could imagine Larry coming up with for what she was feeling in that moment; a furious swarm of wasps inside the hive of her gut, or a ubiquitous sensation of wholeness so overwhelming that it felt her skin might stretch beyond its limits.

“I’m rather certain you’re the one who put it there,” she offered with a sniffle.

“You know how I feel about you,” he reminded gently. “I understand if you don’t want this, me, my whole messy life. I still have to leave Christina, there can be nothing between us now, and she’s agreed to stay on the island if I give her the house so the children won’t be far away.”

Homewrecker. That’s what was being chanted in her head. She could hear it in the voices of everybody she had ever known. Three children torn asunder from their homes by some foreign floozy who couldn’t help herself. It’s what everybody on Corfu would think.

“Spiro, please,” she uttered shyly. “I don’t want to ruin your life. Not when you’ve saved mine in so many ways.”

His hand tightened in hers, entwining their fingers.

“You could never ruin my life. Louisa, είσαι η αωάσα μου. My life is nothing without you to fill my days. Σε λατρεύω.” He offered humbly, feeling a pinch in his chest as he noticed the tears on her cheeks.

She had no idea what he had said, something wonderful she was certain. Every word he spoke was so full of kindness and elegance. It filled her being with joy to hear him speak.

Her hand came up to brush his jaw and she knew then that this was it. So many almost moments and for the first time, there was nothing to interrupt them. Frankly, if there was, she would ignore it.

“You are so incredibly lovely,” she mumbled as the gap between them narrowed and Spiros longingly pressed his lips to hers.

Two and a half years of potential. A million opportunities. All leading to this ephemeral moment.

Drawing back sharply, Louisa realised what this was. What this appeared to be. What she was allowing herself to become.

“Does she think we’ve been having an affair?”

“No, she knows I would not do that to her. But you are right, until we have applied for the divorce, things between us should remain innocent...no matter how much I want to kiss you until you are sick of it,” Spiros agreed nobly. “I will tell her tonight, but first, just stay with me a while?”

Sheepishly, Louisa edged towards him and dropped her head to rest on his shoulder.

The sun grazed the horizon, painting the sky a glorious shade that matched the kumquat grove magnificently. Existing had never felt so effortless, so mindless as this. Spiros’ mind was clear and his eyes stayed wide as he let this moment settle itself in his memory.

“What did you say?” Louisa questioned easily, turning over their hands in his lap as she spoke. “What you said in Greek, what does that mean?”

Her girlish curiosity warmed him and for the first time, he was unabashedly ready to declare his love, even without the aid of alcohol.

“It means you are my breath. It’s hard to translate. Sort of like when you say ‘my reason for living’ except more than that…like something you need to go on existing. I can’t live without you, Louisa, being apart from you is like drowning.” The blush that graced her cheeks made her glad she was tucked so neatly under his chin where he couldn’t see it.

“Greeks…ever the romantics,” she scoffed lightly. “In England, we simply say I rather enjoy your company and that’s enough affection for anybody quite as stoic as the Brits to handle.”

He chuckled, and it carried through his entire body, generating a warmth that sent a shiver through Louisa. They sat there quietly until the sun was out of sight and the impatient and hungry tourists inside of the house had spilled out into the garden and intruded upon their peace.

“I should go, customers to feed.” Louisa reasoned, shifting upright and drawing herself from Spiros’ embrace. “And children…those too.”

“Indeed, you have. We’ve both got things we have to do tonight,” Spiros uttered and Louisa knew his night would be a difficult one and she was worried for him, which apparently showed itself on her face. “Don’t worry, this is a good thing.”

“Okay, I just wish it didn’t have to be so hard,” she admitted, running her tongue over her teeth thoughtfully. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

He nodded in that easy way that was so entirely _him._

“Margo asked me to drive her into town for lunch with Zoltan before his boat to the mainland leaves,” he answered with a broad grin. “We’ll talk when I drop her home, if you like.”

Louisa opened the car door and made to leave before she did anything she might regret. She would never regret this, she reasoned with herself, before leaning to press a kiss to the corner of Spiros’ mouth.

“Good night,” she murmured as she slipped out of the car and hurriedly made her way towards the house with a smile upon her face that she knew she couldn’t hide.

With a beep of his horn and the low rumble of the engine, she heard him leave and wondered how long the tingling sensation that coated her skin like sun lotion would linger. The next few hours might just be the death of her if they went half as slowly as she was imagining.

 

 

    


End file.
